Do you ever wonder why people do not simply do the things that you want them to do? Well, instead of waiting for things to happen, decide to take responsibility for making them happen. The way to do this is often as simple as making an appropriate request.

Requests are the engine that drives action. To the extent that you become proficient in making requests that people understand to be in their best interests, they will comply with your wishes and honor your requests. To the extent that your requests come across as self-serving and in only your own best interests, you will likely meet with opposition and avoidance. The best way to access your power through impacting others is by making requests that move people into action. By moving the action forward, you are able to take an insight you have into what would support you, someone or some situation and make a request that has the person move into accomplishing something they may not have in the absence of your request. In our culture, people generally operate out of the mistaken notion that information is the source for action. Information alone produces no results without the ability to act upon the knowledge you have and move the situation forward. Making a request is a conversation that does just that and produces action. So, if requests cause us to move people and situations powerfully forward, why don't we typically make them routinely to bring about a result? The answer lies in the following areas.

1-We are often fearful of having our requests declined. With the mere possibility of getting turned down, we will retreat and hide under a rock. A good example to demonstrate this is asking someone out for a date. You might really want to date that special person but that little voice on your shoulder reminding you that they just might turn you down can cause paralysis. If you are more committed to getting the date than you are to protecting yourself from potential rejection, you'll pop the question. If the reverse is true, you might never know if the answer would have been ...YES!

2-We are more committed to looking good (or not looking bad) than to making a difference by making a powerful request. Again, when your focus is on yourself, you trade your ability to impact others for protection and comfort. Look to contribute to someone else instead or focus on something worthwhile, something larger than yourself or your all-too-often petty concerns and you will not be so concerned about how you are looking!

3-We are not clear about what requests to make and what needs to happen in a particular situation in order to bring about a result. Our lack of clarity results in paralysis.

4-We are not skilled at making requests in such a way that they can be heard and acted upon by others. When the requests we make are not seen by others to be in their best interests, they may fall on deaf ears.

One way to get our requests heard and acted upon is to combine our request with a promise. I request that you do (whatever) and if you do, I promise to do (this)...in return. Having the requests you make be accepted and acted upon will be a function of how effective you are in creating a listening for what you have to say. Another way to create a listening for your requests to be heard is by speaking your commitment to the person or situation so that the reason for making the request can be understood and appreciated. Example- Out of my commitment to support you to be as powerful as you can be, I request that you practice making at least three requests every day whenever you see an opportunity to influence a situation.

To make your requests more effective, make sure that you are clear as to what must be done to satisfy the request and the time period by when your request is to be carried out. Example- I request that you hire a personal development coach by the first day of next month.

Always remember that whenever a request is made, the person to whom it is made has four options: 1- to accept the request, 2- to decline the request, 3- to commit to respond to the request by either accepting it or declining it by some later date or 4- to counteroffer the request with a possibility that works better for you.

When, on the receiving end of a request, you find yourself needing to decline a request that has been made of you, it is important to leave the person making the request whole. And, when possible, look to see if there is a counter offer you can make to the benefit of all involved. Your ability to first recognize what may be missing in a given situation to bring about an intended result and then powerfully make the appropriate request will result in the world becoming a more obliging place that responds to satisfy all your needs.

Exercise For Making Powerful Requests

Look for at least three opportunities every day in which you can make a request to move the action forward in order to accelerate your business growth. Make your requests powerfully by creating a listening for them to be heard. Always include a "by when" with each request you make. Practice making requests with your prospects, your upline and downline and with your family and friends in some area that will move your business in the right direction.

Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed trainer, author and success coach. He is the author of 10 best selling books available in 19 languages and 48 countries. For more information on Dr. Rubino’s coaching programs, books, tapes, CDs and courses, visit http://www.CenterForPersonalReinvention.com, e-mail to: [email protected].

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