There's a programme currently running on BBC Television in the UK called - "Little Angels." It's a series that offers help and advice to parents who're experiencing behaviour difficulties with their children. I'm sure there are similar programmes in other parts of the world. The children are often out of control, won't do what they're told and generally dominate the family.
Part of the programme shows the parent dealing with the child while receiving instruction from a clinical psychologist through an earphone. The psychologist watches what's happening and constantly tells the parent to reward the child, with words of support, when they do something well. When the child misbehaves, the instructions are to ignore and leave them alone.
There is a huge temptation for the parent to reprimand the child but this is not permitted by the psychologist.
There isn't a whole lot of difference when dealing with adults who misbehave. If you're a manager of people, think for a moment about that "difficult" employee who never seems to do things quite right and takes up so much of your time and attention. Maybe that's just what he or she wants - your time and attention; and as long as they continue to get what they want - they're going to continue being "difficult."
If you have a "difficult" team member or employee, try concentrating on what they do well and tell them about it. Spend less time with and even ignore them when they misbehave. It's not uncommon for managers to invest 90 percent of their energy responding to negative performance and only 10 percent strengthening positive performance. If you "reward" good behaviour - you'll get more of it. If you "reward" bad behaviour - you'll get more of it.
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