As a leader, its your job to delegate responsibility to your subordinates. In the military structure, a subordinate is trained to follow an order without question, or face some pretty stiff consequences. But in the civilian world, people may carry out an order, but do so in protest or with subtle subterfuge in retaliation for that order. Why is that? It’s because emotions intertwine themselves with the order being given which block the path for cooperation.

Why People Hate Orders

One of the fundamental needs that people have is the need for autonomy—to have freedom of choice and control in their lives. When you remove autonomy from a person’s life, conflict will erupt until the balance is restored. Wars happen when the autonomy of a nation or people becomes restricted beyond what is deemed acceptable. The same holds true for individuals. As a leader, issuing orders to a subordinate restricts their autonomy in their life, even if they are getting paid to do it. Remember that whether the situation is professional or personal, emotions are never separate from the problem or the objective. Both the problem and the emotions need to be dealt with separately.

The Uncompassionate Leader—“Get it Done Now!!”

I’ve worked for several supervisors who had the military mentality. They issue an order and they expect it to be done without complaint or delay. Coming from a fairly strict upbringing, I never had a problem with this, but when these orders were barked at some of my co-workers, I could almost taste the heavy tension in the room. The uncompassionate leader who issues commands and orders is only looking at the problem and the solution. They are making the mistake of accounting for the emotional-factor into the equation. It’s just like if you were planning for a vacation trip and forgot to factor in your food costs. Dealing with the emotions of your employees is a critical part in getting an order done right.

Give Them Back Their Autonomy—Their Choice

Instead of barking out orders like a Marine Boot Camp Drill Sergeant, try empowering your employees by giving them back their ability to make choices for themselves. How can you accomplish this? Simple. Instead of making a command, ask questions instead. Ask them for their help, rather than telling them what to do. This works because by asking the employee for their help, you subconsciously restore the balance of power to them. They have the option of saying, “No, I won’t help,” but realistically they will never say this because that would endanger their ability to put food on the table. Also people are inclined to help because it makes them feel good and it increases the bond between both the asker and the provider of that help. The compassionate leader will always use questions instead of barking out orders.

Tristan Loo is the founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution Services, a management consultancy based out of San Diego County, Calfornia. Tristan is a former police officer, conflict expert, professional mediator, and negotiator. Tristan gained his experience by actively engaging conflict out on the streets, honing his knowledge and understanding of conflict during hundreds of dangerous encounters with hostile and violent subjects. Tristan is the author of Street Negotiation--How to Resolve Any Conflict Anytime.

For FREE Conflict Articles and Products, please visit our website at http://www.acrsonline.com or email us directly at [email protected]

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tristan_Loo