1) Tumse milkar ho gaya zindagi se pyar,ab hume chhod kar mat jana yaar,bin tere
hum jee na payenge,tum na hoge to hum
.
.
.
.
.
.
ULLU KISKO BANAYNGE.





2) Ab itni rat ko apun apko kisi baba ka satsng sunane k liy msg nai kia
Comnsense ki bat hai ki apko gud nite bolne ka tha.Chalo ludak jao..Good
Night...





3) Santa bought new radio & took it 2 toilet.Wen came out banta askd:hw ws
it?Santa:yaar romantic songs chal rahe the bade maje se potty ki. Then banta
took
radio 2 toilet & when came out santa askd:kaisi rahi? Maja aaya? Banta:kaisa
maja!Salo ne jan-gan-man laga diya,sari ki sari khare ho k karni padi.





4) Ashwarya-Main tere liye sab c*** dungi,Abhishek-ma bap,Ash-han,Abhi-bhai
behen,Ash-han,Abhi-films,Ash-han,Abhishek-Aur VIKASH ko bhi?Ash-Apni aukat me
reho.





5) Blockbuster film- SINGUR NIYE KHELA. Action hero- BUDDHADEB. Dustumisti
nayika- MAMATA. Athithi silpi- MEDHA PATEKAR. Producer- RATAN TATA. Kritagyata
sikar-WB.





6) Puri botal na sahi,ek jaam to ho jaye,milna na sahi dua salam to ho
jaye,jinki yaad mai hum bimar pade hai kam se kam unhe jukam to ho
jaye..Wah...Wah
wah..Ab





7) PYAR VYAR to 1 bahana hai.. Ankh mile na mile LIPS ko milana hai.. Yehi
style hai sab ASHIQON ka kya kare yar RAJ KAPOOR ka nahi IMRAN HASHMI ka zamana
hai.





Cool A Rose Rs.7

A Card Rs.25,

A Lunch Rs.200,

Movie Rs.150

But a friend like u



is"Priceless"...



Zyada udo mat...



Priceless bole to "FOKAT"!





9) u stole my memories i excused !u stole my peace i excused !u stole my smile i
excused u!bt this is 2 much! mere doggie ka biscuit vapis karo





10)
__,__
/____/,? .;';';.,
,,l__,_ l l ,,,,)(,,,
This house is gift 4 u. So plz go inside and sleep well. Aur haan aaj se road
pe sona bandh!!





"It takes a minute to have a crush an hour to like someone and a day to love
someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone" Be in touch..

1) Whats the diff between gandhi, musharraf & lalu? gandhi-didnt know whats
lie, musharraf doesnt know whats truth & lalu doesnt know the difference

2) Bindaas sone ka, rapchik sapne dekhne ka, Bhoot se nahi darne ka, bole
to..aaina nahi dekhne ka.. GOOD NITE..


3) Are u a high scoring student?


Bored of gettin gud marks?

join M.S.UNIVERSITY..
aur fark dekhiye sirf 3 saalon me..
marks se nomarks...
ab sach mein posible!


4) If i wud b a painter u will b my painting. If i wud b a author u will b my
novel. If i wud b a poet u will b my poem but unfortunatly i m a cartoonist


5) "Boyfrnds" r like "Paanipuri" always tasty. "Lovers" r like "Pizzas" hot n
spicy."husbnds" r lik"Dal Chawal"no othr option but good 4 health & wealth.

6) A young man tries to talk to a young girl......., I HAVE SEEN YOU SOMEWHERE,
the girl replied, "QUIET POSSIBLE I AM NURSE IN MENTAL HOSPITAL".



7) Vada to nahi karte dosti nibhayenge, Kosish yahi rahegi apko nahi satayen‘ge.
Zaroorat pade to dilse pukarna hame, Hagte bhi rahe to bina dhoye aayen‘ge!



Cool Ultimate thought:
if more than one mouse is mice; then more than one spouse is?


SPICE ! Wink



9) What is Marriage?
Ans: 1st yr: Alpenlibe-Ji lalchaye raha na jaye

2yr:TVS-Meelo chalti muskan

3yr:KINETIC-Sabki hawa nikal de

4yr CHLORMINT-Dubara mat puchna!!


10) Teacher-can u define the word lecturer for me student- lecturer is a person
who has a bad habit of speaking when someone is sleeping.

10 Marwari


how did u keep 10 marwari in maruti 800

just throw 100 rupee note inside [/color]






aasma pe jitne sitare hein,

ankho mein jitne ishare hein,

samunder ke jitne kinare hein,

Utne hi screw dheele tumhare hein!






Sardar joins army, given AK 47.

Hes puzzld.

Asks major, Sir, yeh bandook ki nalli samne rakhun ya ulta?

Major: kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga





Soowar ke bachhe !

Ullo ke patthe!

kutte ke pille !

Gadhe ki aulaad !

Bhains ke bachhde,

Bakri ke memne,

sab kitne chote-chote,
piare-piare hote haina.





Boyfriends are like panipuri,
Tastes good anytime.

Lovers r like PIZZAS,
Hot & spicy,eaten frquently.

Husbands r like Dal RICE,
eaten whn there is no choise.....Sad

1) Why gals close der eyes while kissin a guy......"ye ladkiyan bhi na. . . . .ladko ko kabhi khush nahi dekh sakti"!!!!.. ..

2) Patient.:- Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai uska hath lagte hi main theek ho gaya Doctor-janta hun, chaante ki awaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi....

3) 2 sardar soldiers captured a enemy,gave him a dice & said,"If u get 1,2,3,4,5 V'll kill u!" enemy asks:6 aya to? sardars:Then, throw again....

4) Subha...Uth kar 2 kaam kiya karo.
1. Pooja kiya karo...
Taki tum kushi se jee sako.
2. Nahaa liya karo.
Taki dusre kushi se jee sake...

5) Abhi to dosti ki hai , waqt aane par dosti ka farz bhi nibhayenge dil par pathar rakh kar ek din hum khud tumhein Mental Hospital c*** ayenge...

6) "Kya hua jo usne racha lee mehandi, Hum bhi ab SEHRA sajayenge, Mujhe pata tha ki vo apne nasib me nahi, Ab uski choti behan ko fasayenge...

7) Diya hai ..... Uparwale ne mobile to ...... itni to kadar kiya karo, karo na karo call....... Par..... Her roj do char......SMS to kiya karo

8 ) Apki zindagi me kabhi koi gam na ho, Apki aankhe kabhi aansuon se nam na ho;
Apko mile roz-roz nayi Girl Friend, Jinki umar 80 se kam na ho.

9) Sitting in the loo, thinking about u, i am pasing this msg to u, so that even u know what i feel 4 u....... frnd, ths life is s**t widout U

10) GOD-"Tumhe kya chahiye? MAN-"Hay Bhole nath muje Sridevi chahiye
"GOD-Beta She wears saries worth Rs.50000/-
u cant afford,b hapy I'l gv u Mallika Sherawat.

I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelievable sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasms again!

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all!

Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"

God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

f being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.

If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.

If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.

Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number.We are truly sorry for the inconvenience

Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed …oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunning sexy cute beautiful & adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u till i realised it was my own REFLECTION

It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going

Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."

My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...

Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed.

roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you?

roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................

Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!

1. Good looks catch the eyes but Good Personality catches the heart,
You are blessed with both!. FLATTERED?. Don't Be, it was sent to
me, I just wanted you to read it.

2. Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar Ko Dekha, Har Meenar Ko
Dekha, Har Kaleen Ko Dekha, Har Khidki Se Dekha... Aur Bola... Maa
Kasam, Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya !!!

3. Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when
you wakeup today?
1)Pray, so that u may live...
2)Take a bath-so that others may live too!

4. Can u pronounce good english:- read along woof, roof, loof, shoof,
shoof,woof, loof, roof, poof, woof woof, hoof, woof, roof,
shoof.Test results: U r a good dog. Now stop barking.

5. If u hide, i'll seek 4 u. If u r lost, i'll search 4 u. If u'll
leave, i'll wait 4 u. If days take u away 4m me, i'll fight 4 u.
But, if u stop sending msgs, i'll kill you.

6. Beta bola "papa papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai". Papa bole, "Nahi
bete, abhi nahi". "Papa kyon ?" .......... "Bete abhi bandar SMS
padh raha hai"

7. I saw something in a shop window. It was stunning, cute, simply
adorable. I was supposed 2 buy it 4 u, then I realised it was my
reflection.

8. To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ,
knowledge, way of ______expression & many more mental qualities. Hats
off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them.

9. Once an angel came up to me & granted me a wish. I asked for "world
peace". That's impossible, he said. Then I asked himto give u
brains. He said "Let me try world peace"

10. Falling in love is a sweet ambition, finding true love is a life
time mission.. Take my word, follow the Pakistani tradition &
marry ur dad's ugly decision.

11. From Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my
feelings for you have never changed. For me, you've always
been........... a headache !

12. 1 day you'll Be srprised to see ME beside YOU. YOU & ME laughing, YOU & ME crying, YOU & ME dreaming, YOU & ME holding on, YOU & ME... just YOU & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING YOU.
I cannot hide this from you any more. I don't want to hurt you and I
feel it's best if I tell u, before you hear it from someone else
............ Potato Prices Have Gone Up !

13. Maine puchha chand se "dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin", chand
ne kaha "saale itni upar se dikhta hai kya".

14. If u save this msg, it means I'm cute. If u edit this, I'm still
cute. If u fwd this, you are spreading that i'm cute & if u erase
this, you are jealous of me coz i'm cute!

15. Zindagi mein tum bahut aage jaaoge, kyonki jahan bhi tum jaooge,
sab kahenge, chal be chal aage chal.

16. I mixed RUM in water and got drunk. I mixed BRANDY in water and
got drunk. I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again. Now I have
decided never to drink water again !!!

17. Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness,
you gave me light. You gave me strength to make life bright. Thank
you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT.

1) Filmi life aur Asli life me kya ANTAR hai?Srdr:Film me bahut mushkilo k bad shadi hoti hai. Asli life me shadi k bad bahut mushkil hoti hai.

2) It was Santa's weding aniversary.Preeto :Shall v hav Tandoori chicken to celebrate? Santa:y punish da poor chicken for da mistake v hav made

3) Fizao me tum ho Hawao me tum ho Baharo me tum ho Dhoop me tum ho chhaon me tum ho.Sach hi suna tha.buri aatma ka koi thikana nahi hota...

4) U'r very special for me. I'm very concerned about u'r safety. But I can't be with u always. So please, Take Care of yourself when u jump from 1 tree 2 anothe
r!

5) Definition of a Nurse
" a young and beautiful woman who fingers you in all places n holds your hand and then expects your pulse to be normal...!

6) To,
The A.C.P,
Police station

Respected Sir,
As my friend forgot to SMS me,I kindly request u to take action against him & encounter His USELESS mobile !

7) Jab hum roya karenge teri yaden dhoya karenge,Jab hum pia karenge tujhe yaad kia karenge,Agar hum mar bhi gaye to kya hoga,YAMRAJ ke mobile se SMS kia kareng
e

Bhagwan ke bina mandir adhoora hai, dosti ke bina jeevan adhoora hai,patni ke bina ghar adhoora hai,AUR AAPKE BINA CIRCUS ADHOORA HAI.

9) Yeh kis tarah yaad aa rahe ho,
Aankhen band hai phir bhi nazar aa rahe ho,
Na jane kyon aisa lagta hai jaise saamne khade ho
aur POONCHH HILAA rahe ho...!!!

10)
Aankho me "SHARAFAT" Chaal me "NAJAKAT" Dil me "SACHCHAI" aur Chehre me "SAFAI" phir kyon na bole her LADKI apko "BHAI".

1) Devotee asked God,
"I Want Peace".
God replied : Remove 'I' thats Ego. Remove 'Want' thats desire.'Peace 'is automatically attained.



2) Keeping someone in our heart is very easy, but, to be in the someone's heart is very difficult. So "RESPECT" the heart which "CARES" abt U





3) "Be slow in choosing a friend and much slower while loosing them" Because friendship is not an opportunity. Its a sweet responsibility..





4) Fly in the plane of Ambition, & land in D airport of Succes.Luck is yours, Wish is Mine; May yr future always Shine .Good Night





5) 9 Planets

8 Directions

7 Wonders

6 Senses

5 Pandavas

4 Seasons

3 choices

2 Genders

&

1 Friend Like U..


Life rOcKs





6) Hardest moment is not tht wn u lose something and tears come out of ur eyes,but its the one wn u lose somethin and still u manage to SMILE.





7) May d BLESSINGS of GOD harass u,HAPPINESS attack u wherever u go, may MISERY b hijacked frm u & thieves PICKPOCKET all ur worries.





Most Friendships are like a delicate flower,eventually they dry and die.I however,am a cactus; I'll always b poking U so that U remember me.





9) To have God in our life Does nt mean tht our boat wil face no storms, while we sail; Rather it means tht no storm cn have d strength to sink our boat.





10) Devotion to God is true love.
Worldly pleasure is deceptive, true happiness resides only in God
Worship God at the end of happiness, unhappiness, and temporal life.

When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u. -Sweet candies are nice to eat .. Sweet words are easy to say .. but, sweet ppl are hard to find .. OH MY GOD! how did u find me- u r stupid s 4 super .. t 4 talented .. u 4 unique .. p 4 pesron .. i 4 in .. d 4 demand


u r a donkey d 4 decent .. o 4 outclass .. n 4 nice .. k 4 kind .. e 4 excelent .. y 4 young


VERY... Cute, Gorgeous, Genious, Goodlooking, Intellegent, One in Trillions...I think its enuff abt ME,wht abt U....


.....the Heart Beat of my Phone .....is ur Message Tone


Life without u is impossible, u r in my breath and blood. i cant stay for a second without u, if u r not there i am dead oye hello i am talking about OXYGEN


When i am not messaging u it does not mean that i have forgotten u, i am just giving u time to MISS ME!!

I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tellExcept for maybe "go to hell"


Of loving beauty you float with graceIf only you could hide your face


When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!


When u feel sad .. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say .."damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness .. But don't make this a habit .. Coz liars go to hell !!!!


Hi! i am marrying next week. there will be a small party and only a few people will be invited...so i am inviting you...don't bring any gift with you...just bring someone to marry me

Andhere mein rasta chalna mushkil hota hai,
Tez hava mein deepak jalana mushkil hota hai,
Dosti kisi se bhi kar lena mushkil nahi,,,,,,,,,,,,
Ise bas nibhana mushkil hota hai,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Shama se ujaale door ho jaate,
To chand ki chahat kise hoti?
Kat sakti akele ye zindagi,,,,,,
To dosti ki saughaat kyon hoti

Hi,

Doing nothing?

Then Make a Place,

4 Me in ur Heart!!

I May come there any time!

Ur's Faithfully,

"HeArT aTtAcK"

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Monkeys like you
Should be kept in Zoo,Dont get
angry u'll find me there too!
Not in the Cage but Laughing at You!

duriyon ki na parwah kiya kijiye, jab dil yaad kare bula lijiye, hum jyada door nahi aapse, bas aapni 2 palko ko mila lijiye

Roses R Red Violets R Blue
Monkeys Like you Shud Be kept In the Zoo
Dont feel Angry U Will Find Me There Too
Not In a cage But Laughing At you



If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.

Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light. You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT!

I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because Dad says "Love Animals"!

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!


Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!

********************************************

Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum

********************************************

Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

********************************************

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain:)

********************************************

Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan

********************************************

Woh hamari gali me aaye
Woh hamari gali me aaye
Woh hamari gali me aaye
Aur chillake bole
Paper Raddi wala !!!!!

********************************************

Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

********************************************

jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai:)

********************************************

Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo, tera bander jaisa hai moo
Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo, teray ek ek baal pe hai joo

********************************************

Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per